The forced web Detox (or how I coped with digital rehab)

I love Detoxes. I have done them all and never got tired of the concept. There is even something mystical about it: the idea of arriving at some point of exhaustion, gathering the courage to suffer a little bit and eventually finding peace in a period of self-inflicted deprivation. Sugar, coffee, dairy, tea, carbs, mere food. I have done them all. At some point I read of a make-up fast and a mirror fast and was sincerely intrigued without passing to action, though. I am frankly scared of running around without knowing what I look like. Everyone has his weak point, I guess.

One thing is deciding to go on a fast. I love that. Another one is to wake up one morning and – tada!!!! – someone tells you it’s over. You ARE on a fast.  It’s what happened to me since the last time I posted. After my 50s splurge on the Amalfi coast we picked up the kids, boarded a Ryanair flight and landed in Sardinia. 

We were welcomed by our landlady, a stunningly beautiful woman in her early 50s, who candidly announced that there was no wi-fi in the house. “You know, i never use the Internet when I am on holidays”, she said, looking at us with her almond-shaped blue eyes. My heart sank. My mobile data subscription had just been cut, since I had spent all of my monthly 500 MB looking for news of the royal baby on Twitter. (I find nativity plays way more entertaining than economic forecasts, what did I just write on weak points?)

So my web Detox started. I tried to catch a signal (phone wasn’t working all the time, either) in order to send one last email but it didn’t go through. There I was, in a summer paradise without any chance to communicate with the outside world.

I am a net geek. I believe the World Wide Web is the greatest invention in modern history and have been using it daily since I first digited the http:// on a university pc, back in the 90s. Cutting me from the web is like sending me on a mirror fast. I simply can’t cope. 

Then the withdrawal symptoms started.

I would wake up in the middle of the night and take nervously my phone, hoping for a miracle. A glimpse of a news website. A mere minute to use WordPress. There were no surprises. I spent a whole vacation on text messages, as I had done 20 years ago. I read news on proper newspapers and went on without any late night whatsapping consolation. 

I hated it.

 

The symptoms eased after the first week but when I got back home I needed a couple of days in the decompression chamber to return to the digital world without risks of overdosing.

I told The Husband to never do that to me again. Holidays without the Internet.

What is your worst detox nightmare? 

5 comments

  1. I bounce back and forth between love and hate. I think a couple of days is no big deal – at this point though my blackberry works everywhere so it has become a signal of the overbearing part of my job. Escaping from it is a good thing!

  2. You poor thing! I’m with Greta on being fine with a few days and now when I travel for short business trips or even longer personal trips, the roaming data on my blackberry is always “Off.” However I usually have access here and there so get a ‘fix’ here and there. Clearly for your holiday, the universe was forcing you to get into a different rhythm. Naturally we are all delighted to have you “back” in the land of connectivity!! 🙂

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